‘A lot of you guys get stuck here’: Relationship coach reveals the 4 stages of dating. Then he shows how to master each tier

Navigating the modern dating world at any age is no easy feat, especially if your goal is a genuine connection.

There are more options than ever before—apps, setups, social circles, and more. Somehow, dating still feels like one of the most confusing things to get right.

According to TikTok creator Daavi Gazelle (@daavilovespotle), the solution isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about understanding each stage of the dating process and learning how to handle it.

In a video that’s now been viewed over 207,300 times, Gazelle lays out a step-by-step guide to becoming what he calls “a dating savage.”

His advice is displayed in a Notes screenshot behind him as he walks through the stages one by one.

First, you need a pipeline

According to Gazelle, it all starts before the first date—with how you’re even meeting people in the first place.

“Majority of people have literally no idea where the next person they’re gonna date is gonna come from,” Gazelle says. "And I'm sorry, but the days of Romeo and Juliet bumping into each other on aisle 3 at the grocery store are behind us."

Instead, he suggests actively making sure you’re in situations where you can meet potential partners. That could mean being social in college, hitting up local events or bars, or getting introduced through friends.

“This could be dating apps, but you need to have a method where you know you're gonna be meeting new people,” he adds.

“You gotta play in traffic if you want to get hit,” he jokes.

Next: The talking stage

Once you’ve made a connection and go on that first date, the real test begins.

Gazelle says this part is all about showing that you can have fun and create a memorable time without overcomplicating it.

“Can you be fun? Can you be spontaneous?” he asks. “You don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but it’s just—can you be fun?”

From there, it’s about learning to escalate things comfortably. Whether that’s through body language, flirting, or making the first move, Gazelle says many people struggle to move past this phase because they hesitate.

“You have those first dates, but then you’re afraid to touch a girl… or you just kind of never end up kissing,” he explains. “Then it’s bye-bye, see you later.”

Then comes vulnerability

If things go well, you’ll eventually reach a more serious point, Gazelle explains. He calls this “the feelings stage,” where both people start asking themselves, ‘Do I actually like this person?’

This is also where things can fall apart.

“This stage right here is where feelings get hurt 99% of the time,” he says. “So one person’s being honest, one person’s kind of lying… someone just wants to hook up, one person wants to date.”

His advice here is simple: Be vulnerable and communicate clearly. “Share yourself. Be honest about what you want,” he says.

Finally: The relationship

Getting into an actual relationship doesn’t mean the work is over. In fact, Gazelle says a lot of people sabotage themselves at this point by dropping their other interests, hobbies, or friendships and becoming too consumed by the relationship itself.

“Non-neediness, or basically having a life outside of your relationship, [is] the No. 1 skill in dates 10 and beyond,” he says.

He also warns about “grass is greener” syndrome—when people in relationships start eyeing other options and forgetting that every person comes with their own set of flaws.

“If you made it to 10 dates with that [other] girl, you’d see all the stuff that made her messed up too,” he says.

Gazelle closes out the video by reminding viewers that you don’t have to aim for the boyfriend-girlfriend stage if that’s not your goal. Just figure out what you want, be honest about it, and work on each stage until you’re good at it.

“This video will make you a complete dating savage in all aspects of your life,” he concludes. 

Why Gazelle’s advice is timely 

Gazelle’s video taps into something a lot of people are feeling right now.

According to a Pew Research survey, 47% of Americans say dating is harder now than it was a decade ago, citing reasons like ghosting, mixed signals, and differing expectations.

Additionally, the annual Singles in America 2023 report by Match revealed that 49% of singles today prefer traditional monogamy for their relationships. 

However, respondents also stated they’re navigating everything from financial stress to loneliness—especially Gen Z singles, who report feeling “significant stress” at the highest rates. Over half say they feel lonely on a typical day.

So yeah, figuring out what you want, being honest about it, and knowing how to move through each phase of dating is now more useful than ever.

Viewers weigh in on the dating stage struggle

In the comments, people shared their own take on dating today—and it’s clear that frustration runs deep.

“You can still meet people at the grocery store if you simply go up to them and tell them ‘I thought you were cute, are you single?’” one person wrote.

Others, though, weren’t interested in dating at all. “Too lazy to date, got a job, a cat, a nice car, gym, and hobbies,” one user said. “Now why would I bring a woman into this & potentially ruin the things I’ve worked hard for?”

Another commenter said she’s tired of being the one to try. “As a girl that’s passed dates 2, when I showed interest, he gives up n starts over w someone else,” she said. “I’m never showing interest ever again.”

And one user kept it short and clear: “If a man is not dating me and only me after the first date, I don’t want him.”

@daavilovespotle

Tag a friend stuck in stage 1

♬ original sound - Señor College 🏫

The Daily Dot has reached out to Gazelle via TikTok and Instagram messages for comment. 

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The post ‘A lot of you guys get stuck here’: Relationship coach reveals the 4 stages of dating. Then he shows how to master each tier appeared first on The Daily Dot.

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