Those jokes are not funny: Suicide survivor says comedian Ashley Gavin repeatedly told her to kill herself after she cheered at live show

Comedian Ashley Gavin is facing backlash after she told an audience member to “go kill herself" during a live stand-up show last week in Indianapolis.

“Can u set up text alerts for when u post the apology video?” a commenter wrote on the comedian’s latest TikTok post. 

On Thursday, Olivia Neely posted a 5-minute video on TikTok and a Reddit post talking about the experience she had at the show. On Wednesday, the TikTok had over 3.3 million views.

@og_neely Ashley Gavin tells me to go k*ll myself over and over during sold out show. “Unalived” used for tiktok regulations. #ashleygavin #ashleygavincomedy #unaliveawareness #unaliveattemptsurvivor #unalivedawareness #comedy #notfunnydidntlaugh ♬ original sound - Olivia Neely

Neely says she had bought VIP meet-and-greet tickets to Gavin’s show.

Opening the night, the comedian encouraged the audience to be loud and cheer during the show, a suggestion that Neely took when she started cheering.

“Next thing I know, she looks me dead in the face—and the crowd is silent—and she tells me that I am the most annoying fan that she has ever had come to one of her shows,” Neely says in her video. “Immediately after that, she tells me to go unalive myself. And I, jokingly but also very seriously, was like ‘I already have [tried].’”

Neely says the comedian then kept repeating the comment, after which Neely walked what she called the “ultimate walk of shame” out of the venue as she left. 

“I’ve struggled with my mental health my whole life,” Neely said in the video. “This is a serious thing… Like, what if I went home and actually did that?”

Neely says both she and her friend were blocked by the comedian on Instagram immediately after the show. 

In a June 12 profile of the comedian, Time Out magazine wrote that Gavin’s stage was a safe space with ample space for Gavin’s “beloved antagonistic” crowd work with audiences for whom call-out culture is a way of being. 

For fans in the audience, who stayed for the rest of the show and even booed Neely’s friend as wse walked out, according to Neely’s original TikTok, the comment might’ve felt like a natural part of Gavin’s set.

“Comedians say that all the time,” a commenter wrote on TikTok about the encounter. “I don't like those jokes but this is a common thing.”

@justintimeforlife joking about unaliving is never a joke. it's never funny, it's never okay, it isn't okay with certain friend groups it is just not okay @Ashley Gavin crossed a line she cannot come back from, and this isn't the first time. THIS is common in her shows. I hope she dusts off her resume. you know you really done messed up when #mamatot has words. thank you @Olivia Neely for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #kindness #exposed #comedian #greenscreen #greenscreenvideo ♬ Aesthetic - DJ Aurier

Online, some defended her from what they saw as excessive criticism.

“As much [as] I don’t agree with those types of jokes, it is so extra to call venues and cancel her shows,” another commenter wrote. 

In a February 2023 interview with the Chicago Reader, Gavin said her audience was prominently new to comedy and that they weren’t familiar with the customs of live comedy, including how loudly to laugh or how to react to her jokes. 

“People say you can’t tell a joke anymore. That’s not really true. You just need your audience to understand your point of view,” Gavin told the Reader. “You kind of have to let them know that they are safe.”

Despite the comedian’s known sense of humor and usual crowd roasting, some fans still feel like she took the joke too far at the Indianapolis show. 

“That wasn’t comedy, that was cruelty,” one commented on Neely’s post. 

“I have extreme dark humor, but that subject is a no go,” another one commented on a different TikTok about the event. 

Neither Gavin’s team nor Neely replied to the Daily Dot’s request for comment. 

Gavin’s comments were insensitive and unwise, clinical psychologist and Joy from Fear author Carla Manly told the Daily Dot, adding that “it was clear that the incident was both demoralizing and traumatizing” for Neely. 

“There is nothing entertaining about telling someone to unalive themselves,” Manly said. 

She also said that having an audience comes with the responsibility of being “acutely aware” of the sensitivities people in that audience might have, which doesn’t necessarily mean walking on eggshells. 

If the comment was meant as a joke with the audience rather than the impactful statement perceived by Neely, then the loose use of the term dilutes the experiences of those facing real mental health issues, Manly said. 

“We have become quite unmindful of how our words impact not only the speaker but the receiver,” Manly said. “It is a really positive step to simply pause to think before we speak.”

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The post ‘Those jokes are not funny’: Suicide survivor says comedian Ashley Gavin repeatedly told her to kill herself after she cheered at live show appeared first on The Daily Dot.

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